


Fulfilling Self-Fulfilment

by eccentricities_of_kitties



Series: Lingerie!Dirk [2]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Cock Cages, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gender Issues, Lingerie, Lingerie!Dirk, M/M, Mild Smut, Multi, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Women's Underwear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-03-11 12:25:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13524204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eccentricities_of_kitties/pseuds/eccentricities_of_kitties
Summary: Dirk and Todd go on a double date with Amanda and Farah.Dirk's fashion choices make the evening a little more interesting ;)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the only place these works have had a good reception, so be nice!

In between cases, Dirk and Todd had time. To lay in far past an appropriate time to get up. To spend all day just talking, quietly between the sheets on  _ their  _ bed, in  _ their  _ apartment. To go around town and do normal people things. 

 

Like dating. Like double dating.

 

Amanda was already out, but Farah came out to Dirk and Todd by leaning over the table to kiss her girlfriend, smile in their shocked faces and say,

 

“Guess this is officially a double date, huh?”

 

They’d had many just like it in between cases whenever they could over the following months. Dirk loved it of course, whereas Todd found it quite awkward. 

 

“All I’m saying is, I don’t need Amanda knowing the ins and outs of our relationship,” he said when they were getting ready one evening. 

 

Dirk rolled his eyes from his vantage point in the shower. “You mean you don’t want her to know I wear lingerie?”

 

Todd pulled back the curtain to raise a brow at him. “You know full well that I don’t find it an embarrassment or a challenge to my masculinity or any of that bull. I just know that she’d make it a running joke. I don’t want that for you. Not for something that you’ve dealt with alone for so long.”

 

Dirk shrugged. “I don’t mind. Amanda’s jokes are funny, as long as she explains the punchline.”

 

“That’s the thing; you’ll be the punchline. I don’t like this, I have a bad feeling about it,” Todd explained, going back to trimming his facial hair. “And, if anything, the things I don’t want her knowing about are just general stuff like who tops and what our kinks are. She likes having no boundaries, but I’m not comfortable with that.”

 

“Well we can just talk about other things, can’t we?” 

 

Todd sighed. “Sometimes people ask you questions and you answer without thinking about it. You don’t know how to lie, or conceal things.”

 

“Yes I do,” Dirk protested.

 

“Oh yeah?” Todd challenged, with a grin. “What’s your favourite position?”

 

Dirk lit up. “Bent over the bed. Ah. Yes. I see what you mean. But it’ll be different in the moment, because it won’t be you asking the question.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Dirk stepped onto the bathmat and started drying off. “Of course. I can keep a secret from those two. It’s different with you, I can tell you anything.”

 

“I’d say you’re being cheesey, but I know you really mean it,” Todd smiled, and kissed Dirk’s cheek on the way to the shower. 

 

Dirk frowned. “You didn’t say you were going to have a shower - we could have showered together.”

 

Todd shrugged. “When we do that we end up in here for hours. As it is, we only have like 3 hours to meet the others, so you’d better start getting ready. Don’t give me that look, you know it takes you 20 minutes to get even just the suspender belt on.”

 

“It’d go faster if you helped,” he replied, flirty. 

 

“It really wouldn’t,” Todd countered. “We always end up...taking it back off. So...go. Now. Before I change my mind and we end up late again.”

 

“Being late feels good though,” Dirk sassed, walking out airily. 


	2. Chapter 2

In the car on the way to the restaurant, Dirk was _not_ happy.

 

“I’m sorry, Dirk, I’ll get you some more tomorrow,” Todd promised.

 

Todd had caught on Todd’s stockings with his keys when he was trying to help Dirk pull his jeans over the top. 

 

“They were my last pair, you know I hate going bare-legged. Feels weird,” Dirk complained. “And we had to rush so I didn’t even get to take off my belt. It’s just dangling aimlessly with nothing to hold up.”

 

“Take it off then.”

 

Todd regretted his words almost immediately. Hard to keep focused on driving when your boyfriend is stripping in the passenger seat. Dirk unbuttoned the jeans and eased them down to his thighs, arching in his seat to get to the fastenings on the back of the belt. 

 

“Eyes on the road, Todd,” Dirk warned, and Todd swerved back into his lane. “Unless you want to pull over and help me out of this.”

 

“Unfair,” Todd complained. “We’re already late enough, stop distracting me.”

 

Dirk finally got the last of it undone, slipped off the belt and tossed it carelessly onto Todd’s lap. Todd shook his head, forcing a smile at the road. He sneaked a glance and, once again, was faced with immediate regret. Now without the belt, Todd had an unobstructed view of Dirk’s crotch. Tearing his gaze back to the road, he could finally focus, as Dirk pulled his jeans back up at last. 

 

“What did the hungry vampire say to the human?” Dirk asked, and Todd rolled his eyes. 

 

“What?”

 

Dirk’s mouth was suddenly next to his ear. “Nice neck,” he whispered, and started kissing, licking, sucking...

 

“Dirk!” Todd gasped, scandalised. “You’re going to make me crash.”

 

“Universe won’t hurt us,” Dirk shrugged off, leaning further over into Todd’s side. 

 

“We’re going to be pulling up any minute, I don’t need Amanda seeing this.”

 

“Fine,” Dirk grumbled, sinking back into his seat. “But do you seriously expect to be leaving this until  _ after  _ dinner,  _ after _ we all hang out and watch a movie, and **_after_ ** we have a couple of drinks as Farah often likes to say before she’s had 3 bottles of wine and is belting out ‘Don’t stop me now’ on the karaoke machine she said she’d no idea how to use?”

 

Todd sighed in resignation. “That’s true.”

 

Dirk smiled smugly, leaving his jeans’ button open as an invitation. 

 

Todd opened the glove compartment. “I know what we can do. Remember that Christmas present you said I should spring on you when you least expect it?”

 

Dirk’s smile faded. “Bollocks.”

 

Todd chuckled at his own clever idea. “Time to pay the piper, babe. Pants off.”

 

“Fine,” Dirk grumbled, hiding his excitement. 

 

Todd pulled over a couple of blocks from the restaurant. He reached into the open glove compartment and pulled out the metal instrument. 

 

In his hand he held a cock cage.

 

“You want this, right?” he smirked, opening the cage and getting the padlock ready. 

 

Dirk nodded, lips tight shut in anticipation. He’d been with other men before, but Todd was the only one he’d ever been able to fully explore himself with. Closeness like he’d never known and openness that he’d always dreamt of. An untainted, human connection was all he’d ever wanted. 

 

“Spread your legs,” Todd ordered. He pulled back the band of Dirk’s panties.

 

“Be careful, they’re lace,” Dirk complained, and shut his mouth with a whimper when Todd yanked gently on them, their material rubbing against him. 

 

“This is the first time we’ve tried this, so we can’t leave it on for days like you wanted to,” Todd warned. “Just a few hours, okay?”

 

“I know I wanted this, but I had no idea how much I’d want you to fuck me right now,” Dirk whined. 

 

“I’m not going to fall for that,” Todd shrugged, starting up the car again. Before pulling away, he reached over to do up Dirk’s jeans, maintaining eye contact as he did. 

 

“Not even a kiss?” Dirk said hopefully. 

 

“Alright,” Todd gave in and gave a chaste peck on Dirk’s cheek. 

 

Dirk folded his arms. “A proper kiss.”

 

Todd rolled his eyes, before leaning over, pulling Dirk’s face closer to his own. He let Dirk attack him eagerly, knowing it would probably be his last chance before having to wait several hours. It was hot, but when hands wandered up to his neck, he pushed Dirk back into his seat and turned his attention back to the street, looking for a gap in traffic to get back out. 

 

“Could’ve at least let me suck you off,” Dirk sulked.

 

This made Todd press his foot down hard on the break pedal, halting the progress he’d made in pulling back out onto the road. 

 

“Why do you always have to say stuff like that right when we’re at the highest risk of being in a car accident?”

 

\---


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait, depression is a bi*ch!

“I know, I’m sorry - but stop fidgeting, because we’re all literally detectives, okay? For a living. They’ll realise.”

 

“Realise what, Todd?” Amanda’s voice came, from right behind him. 

 

Todd concealed his surprise, but Dirk was filterless as usual.

 

“Hi Amanda! We were hoping you’d already be inside, so we wouldn’t have made you wait out here in the freezing cold, haha. I can see my breath, what are you doing out here?”

 

“Someone,” she said, throwing a dirty look at a Farah shaped huddle sat behind her against the wall of the restaurant. “Decided that it would be rude to get table, since other big groups also need tables.”

 

“It's common restaurant etiquette, back me up, Dirk?”

 

Dirk got out a confused, “Um…” before Amanda cut back in. 

 

“Is it also common restaurant etiquette to call the waiter guy a,” she glanced at Dirk and swallowed her less polite words. “not so nice word.”

 

Dirk’s jaw dropped comically in protest to her censoring, and Todd shook his head in a way that said ‘let them resolve this’, smiling. He hoped he and Dirk were this cute when they argued. 

 

Farah crossed her arms and fell into a stance Todd and Dirk recognised as Level 2 Angry Farah. 

 

“He was the one being inappropriate. We don’t go to that place anymore because he called you,” she glanced at Dirk. “An even not-nicer word, okay?”

 

Dirk pursed his lips, not happy at being left out. Todd held his hand comfortingly. Really it was better that Dirk know as little as possible about the bad shit in the world like homophobia and discrimination etc. He had a childlike sense of wonderment and naivety that fueled his determination to make the world a better place. Realising the world was just a piece of garbage hurtling through space with a bunch of garbage people on it would only dim the beautiful brightness of his soul, one of the only light parts of Todd’s life. Selfish? Perhaps.

 

When their argument quelled and they finally got in and got a table, a sour mood was quickly replaced with a bubbly one, mostly thanks to Dirk, Todd noticed. He lived under the skin of the universe, but his real ability was enriching and enhancing lives just using that stupid goofy smile and simple words. 

 

“And that's when Thor said ‘Well, sure if you've got a big enough cupcake!’”

 

“God, you really have been everywhere haven't you?” Amanda groaned, jealous. 

 

“Well, I've never actually been to Northern England, although I hear they're really quite polite.”

 

Todd raised a brow. “We should all go on holiday to England sometime. You can drive on your side of the road and monologue about how much nicer it is.”

 

“And point out all the cookies and say ‘now that's a biscuit’” Farah interjected. 

 

“Ooh, ooh, and I could dress you up in clothes that have your flag on so everyone knows my boyfriend is a tourist and you can get confused by our newspapers because you have your dates all wrong and you can get grossed out by all our foods that aren’t packed with artificial flavours and preservatives!”

 

“I’m regretting it already,” Todd said, and Dirk pursed his lips. “Kidding. Anyway, you’re one to talk about artificial sugars while you eat a double caramel fudge sundae whatever the hell that is.”

 

“Todd, stop ordering the shitty apple pie if you’re just going to complain about what others have got. I swear guys, every time we come here he thinks he’s going to like it and he never does and he always steals my damn cheesecake. Not this time, buddy. You’re Dirk’s problem now,” she sneered, licking her spoon in a somehow aggressive way.

 

Dirk shielded his sundae with both hands. “Not a chance.”

 

Farah sat back, enjoying her lemon sorbet without challenge. 

 

“C’mon, Dirk. Sharing is caring,” he grinned, brandishing a spoon. When Dirk continued to glare, he put his hand on his leg (unseen to the others) and leaned closer. “I can pay you back.”

 

Like a dog’s ears pricking up at a word associated with food, Dirk immediately relaxed into his seat, cheeks red. He glanced at his sundae, then at Todd, then back to the sundae. And slowly, slid it across the table. 

 

“Um, what just happened?” Amanda said, grinning. “What was that little moment?”

 

“Nothing,” Dirk insisted, folding his arms.

 

“That was a sexual implication if I’ve ever seen one,” Farah murmured slyly, never one to miss a trick. 

 

Amanda sat back with arms crossed, scandalised. “Dirk. Todd. _ Dirk _ , omg.”

 

“What?” Todd asked, deadpan. Dirk was happy to let him talk their way out of this, knowing out of the two of them he would be the one to blow their cover and let slip that there was something going on. Unfortunately, Farah knew this too. Todd figured they had about 2 seconds before she put her interrogation skills to use and got at least something out of him. 

 

“We’re just having a little money trouble. So we’ll square it up when I get paid that’s all,” Todd explained, when both Farah and Amanda fixed him with the ‘no bullshit’ glare. 

 

It was a low blow really, considering it was one of the things Amanda and Farah fought about a lot. Income wasn’t exactly flowing into the agency. It really only came when the universe decided. Amanda was chill about this. Farah, decidedly, was not. 

 

“Anyways, it’s been weeks now since we had a case. Usually the break isn’t more than a few days. What, should we like, get jobs? Like normal people?”

 

Dirk scoffed. “We don’t need to resort to that, let’s not lose our heads. Pfft, jobs.”

 

“Right, because the answer to all our problems is just going to fall straight into our laps,” Farah said, frustrated.

 

Someone in the upstairs level of the restaurant yelped, the smashing of glass was heard, and then something landed with a smack into Farah’s sorbet bowl. It was a wad of cash the size of a brick, with a note attached. They all turned their heads upwards, where no one seemed to care about the money or want it back, then all eyes turned to Farah.

 

She pushed it towards Dirk for himto deal with, knowing that this would inevitably be the beginning of their next case. 

 

“Well it didn’t land in my lap, did it?”

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter soon! leave a comment if you have any ideas for another lingerie!dirk story :D


End file.
